{"id":13485,"date":"2019-05-01T14:18:33","date_gmt":"2019-05-01T12:18:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heiniger-net.blog-net.ch\/?p=13485"},"modified":"2019-05-01T14:23:17","modified_gmt":"2019-05-01T12:23:17","slug":"de25-lustige-dinge-die-mir-meine-mutter-beigebracht-haten25-funny-things-my-mother-taught-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heiniger-net-archive.blog-net.ch\/en\/archives\/13485\/de25-lustige-dinge-die-mir-meine-mutter-beigebracht-haten25-funny-things-my-mother-taught-me\/","title":{"rendered":"25 Funny things my mother taught me"},"content":{"rendered":"

Found at Wattpad.com, posted by brownielover1<\/a><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
    \n“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”<\/li>\n
  2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
    \n“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”<\/li>\n
  3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
    \n“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”<\/li>\n
  4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
    \n“Because I said so, that’s why.”<\/li>\n
  5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
    \n‘If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”<\/li>\n
  6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
    \n“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”<\/li>\n
  7. My mother taught me IRONY.
    \n“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”<\/li>\n
  8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
    \n“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”<\/li>\n
  9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
    \n“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”<\/li>\n
  10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
    \n“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”<\/li>\n
  11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
    \n“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”<\/li>\n
  12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
    \n“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”<\/li>\n
  13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
    \n“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”<\/li>\n
  14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
    \n“Stop acting like your father!”<\/li>\n
  15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
    \n“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”<\/li>\n
  16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
    \n“Just wait until we get home.”<\/li>\n
  17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
    \n“You are going to get it when you get home!”<\/li>\n
  18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
    \n“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way.”<\/li>\n
  19. My mother taught me ESP.
    \n“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”<\/li>\n
  20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
    \n“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”<\/li>\n
  21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
    \n“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”<\/li>\n
  22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
    \n“You’re just like your father.”<\/li>\n
  23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
    \n“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”<\/li>\n
  24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
    \n“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”<\/li>\n
  25. And my favourite: my mother taught me about JUSTICE.
    \n“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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